Jacq's

7th July 2003

I had a big quarrel with Lion ytd.. Cause was mel decided not to go chiong for the sake of blush.. The quarrel was pretty serious.. We eventually raise our voices at each other.. That was when he scold some vulgar.. Did he decided to apologise.. I was really pissed off by him ytd.. But I juz cant b angry wid him for long.. *siGhx* After the quarrel, I guess our relationship become betta.. :) However, till now.. I still think that Mel is still a much betta bf as compared to Lionz.. Mel send mi a mp3 todae.. Baby - Ai Qing Bu Neng Zuo Bi Jiao.. I had this mp3 long ago.. He asked me to listen to the song carefully and dun compare Lion wid any1 anymore.. You know, I can't do that.. I will do that no matter what.. Coz I felt that if others can do that for their loved ones.. Why couldn't he? I read up on a online diary by someone whom I dunno.. www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=zouker Nearly makes me cry.. Really touched my heart.. I don't understand why muz love be so complicated.. Isnt it should be simple and romantic? Guess I was too naive huh? *siGhx* Why muz regret found in life..? Regret is a very hurtful word.. Felt regret once and I promise never to let it happen to me.. Regret is too much for me to handle.. Zouker may not be a nice guy.. But, I can sense that the love he had for Delcie is true and he would keep to his promise that he would treat Delcie well.. And I dun understand why Delcie would hurt him tis much.. Mayb all these were too much for her to handle bah.. 3 years of relationship.. POOF~! And it's gone.. Fast and hurtful.. Arent mine the same..? I'm still worried about Bryan.. Though I guess I have really put down the relationship of 2 yrs 3 months relationship, I still think of him.. I dun shed tears for him anymore.. Juz worried about him.. Bcoz the last time I heard frm him, he tells me he was having trouble with police case.. I wanted to know how he was doing and everything.. My mind's in a whirlwind.. I dunno wad's gotten mi.. I dunno wad I'm troubling with.. I juz can't keep my mind clear.. Am I developing too fast with Lionz? I dunno.. I'm scared.. Scared that he will leave me suddenly.. He promised me and assured that he wouldn't.. But, how would I know.. *siGhx* Life is unpredictable.. I guess I'm realli in love.. The question which I feared to answer most finally has the firm answer.. I do love Lion.. I dunno y oso.. I dunno why am I attracted to him so much.. Thinking of him really makes me smile.. I could even lauff when thought of the conversation which I hab wid him.. LOlx.. Sounds silly huh? :) I just hope that the relationship between me and him would be smooth-sailing.. Dear, if you happen to look at it.. I just wanna tell you that.. I will try my best to maintain this relationship.. If one day I'm gonna leave u.. That's not bcoz I dun love you anymore.. It's bcoz I love you too much that's why I'm willing to let you go.. I love you..

- ("v")..f|aMe^gEr.&.LioNz..("v") -