29th June 2004
raining soon.. and, my heart is like e weather now.. few days ago, everything was fine.. till juz now.. stupid mi, spoilt everything.. *sighs* in e middle of da nite.. ard 4am+.. i haber slp.. couldnt get to bed.. d4r alreadi in e middle of his dreamland.. i was toking to tis buddy of mine.. he ask mi 2 cor him.. so, i did.. den i talk nia.. d4r wake up.. ask mi who am i toking to.. i pass e receiver to him.. ask him hear fer himself.. den he angry lers.. i noe tis shows he care fer mi.. but.. i dunno ehs.. his attitude sux? c0s.. after tat, he couldnt get to slp.. i tried to get near him.. he was hostile towards mi.. den, he fall asleep again.. time to get up.. his mood like not tat gd.. he sae he was tired.. not angry wid mi.. fine.. when i rch hm.. he rch station, we talk.. den i sae.. u very farnie.. juz now when u hear is guy's voice, u sat up immed.. l0ls.. den i tell him.. dere's no nid to worry.. even roland (my buddy) saes tat.. we both treat each other like sistas de.. i treat him as sister.. he treat mi as brother.. den lidat.. he angry.. he sae he hab no right to sae him.. soon after, we quarrel.. den HE tell mi tat he DON WAN to tok 2 mi.. i was like.. WTF?! so i juz kup his fone.. don wanna hear animore.. i don wish 2 tok 2 him animore.. at least, not now.. mayb when my mood is betta bahs.. im not gonna call him either.. if he calls, den gd.. if not, he can fark off.. i dun gib a damn.. i noe its my fault to tok 2 guys.. but.. he dun nid to do tat.. i realli hate tat attitude of tis.. like i owe u lotsa $$.. kNnz.. he cant imagine how BORED i am in da middle of da nite man.. i realli am.. i could go crazy.. juz facing e com.. doing nth.. WTF?! alright, he gonna push e blame to mi.. saying its bcos i choose not to.. im abnormal.. nt living e life of human.. ppl slp at nite.. i slp at afternoon.. ppl wake up at afternoon.. i wake up at nite.. HELLO?? tis is my life.. if u cant adapt to MY LIFE, juz jolly well FARK OFF!! tis is a fren.. whom i hab noe for years.. he noe so much of my secrets.. he's like my soulmate.. some1 whom i realli don wanna lose.. yes, u are much impt.. but.. he's 2nd to u.. i have no choice.. but to defend him.. don tell mi u dun tok 2 jasmine when u feel bored.. or rather, don tell mi u dun tok 2 her when she msg u.. don gimme tat sorta crap!! *arghs* u sux!! its ur fault.. tat's it..!! tis is e first time he tok 2 mi like tis.. i noe i did smth wrong lia0s.. so, i was soooo patient wid him.. packed his stuff n everything to prepare him go station.. was like so gentle to him all da way.. ar.. FARK!! damn dulanz.. mayb i not enuff slp.. c0s still now i still haber slp.. *sighs* i juz now.. read all my history blog.. felt so stupid, disgraceful & bitch man.. wad da hell..?? y am i sooo stupid last time huhs?? was like.. am i crazy or wad?? be sooo gd to a bastard guy?? i do hope he get strike by lightning soon.. mayb, get crash in an accident?? trust mi, i wun feel guilty if tat happens.. cant wait fer him to die man!! was kinda sad too.. couldnt understand y i was treated tis way.. everything seems so sweet.. it was sweet.. too good to be true.. until one day.. it had to end tis way.. i hope.. mi n d4r.. dun nid to end.. when he sae he don wanna tok 2 mi tat time, i wanted so much to break off wid him.. c0s i was thinking tat.. i don wan him 2 treat mi tis way.. i wan him to treasure mi.. like a princess.. not like tis.. tis is not i wan.. i don wan him to tell mi he don wan mi animore.. im scare..
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