5:20am
very funny.. he's MY SON! who are u to question me where am i bringing him to? YOU MURDERER! fark off ok.. he's not any of your concern! DAMN! my biggest wish? that you will keep your dirty hands off him! NBCB!
went bugis w yunz n boi today.. they so ke lian lar.. cos my pram is still at jurong.. den ask them help me bring it out.. cos need it tmr.. den when they on e train, they were being scrutinize by strangers.. LOL! i think strangers must be thinking.. boi is yun's bf.. wad a young young couple! LOL! ke lian them lar.. SO! i was "FORCED" to treat them dinner.. AND the stupid boi bubble tea! and he blardy hell choose e most exp of all! >.< had ba chou mee which is oppo bugis MOS burger.. *yummy! but jabez got pek cek at the WRONG TIME! >.< he keeps crying and i couldnt have my piping hot ba chou mee.. LOL! i had to coax him to slp while waiting for yun to finish her noodles so that she can help me takeover.. hahas.. im totally in <3 w this new shop - DIVA! it's beside topman & dorothy perkins.. there're some charm necklaces which i eyed for only $19! i find them really cheap! but i read thru LD.. lotsa say not worth e money, exp and lousy quality.. i wonder why.. but i wanna get them when i got money! this month blardy broke lar.. even spend e money that is suppsoed to be my birthday present! my birthday's on 24th oct ok!! *blinks blinks.. (get e hint? LOL!) took a cab home.. once we got into e cab, jabez starts crying.. the no brains ME.. i thought put e hot water into e "baby thermo flask" (erm.. i dunno wad's tat called lar.. but usually mothers bought this to put the milk bottles in it to keep it warm) and it would stay hot for a long long time.. so end up, when he wanted to drink milk, no hot water! got milk powder no water! *zzz* so he cry all da way back to sengkang.. he was sOo hungry + tired! felt really heartache lar.. so so ke lian! by the time he reach hm, he was fast asleep..>.< i deserve a tight slap! lesson learnt! when it's near time for him to drink milk, i shld test if e water's hot.. if it's not.. i shld prepared for hot water.. *arghs.. i shall nv allow this to happen again! it hurts me to c him crying so jialat..>.<
some say i was down with post-natal depression.. am i really depressed? what went wrong? ive sOo many nice nice people around me! sOo many help from sOo many ppl! ive got a GREAT hubby! who stands by me ALL the time! and give me wadeva i want! (as long as not very exp stuffs) he even endure me these few months cos he heard from friends that before and after preggie very easy to get depress.. so he NEVER quarrel w mi no matter how much i kpkb him after i give birth! why do i still get depressed? NO! i dun feel sad or angry when i saw jabez.. i felt happy n blissful.. so why do they say im depressed? issit becos of her? if im really depressed? i really wanna c a psychiatrist soon! cos im feeling so irritated.. so unhappy.. so pek cek wif everything.. and im venting all these on dear.. of course, i don't like it! and it's straining our r/s! hais.. but i just cant stop myself.. i even questioned myself if i have lost feelings for him.. cos i keep venting unnecessary anger on him! but others told me no.. im down w depression.. HUH?! wad is depression actually? i think i must have hurt dear badly.. cos i told him.. "i dunno if i still love u.." and he still calmly tell me, "no.. it's just u are feeling frustrated and there's no one u can turn to.. e only person who u can vent on is me.. so u are angry w me at the slightest thing.." oh dear! im really taking him for granted.. and im feeling really really BAD! but i cant help it! i always do not know how to treasure the people around me and hurt them.. I KNOW! BUT I DUNNO HOW! *aHhh.. im going crazy! help me please! i really need to clear everything in my mind!
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