Jacq's

11th Oct 2003

He just tell me to forget abt him.. Dun wait for him anymore.. Coz his heart is frozen for the moment and it might take years to cure.. I told him.. I will wait even if it take years.. *siGhx* I was just about to forget him.. Den come like this.. Make mi think of him again.. I am stupid.. I am blind.. But what to do when I am in love with him..? Jacky sae that I've change.. Last time so noisy.. Now so quiet.. Edwin and Yingmu sae I change.. Last time so cheerful.. Now sounds so sad.. What to do? As if I want that to happen? I've been trying.. Trying very hard to just stop thinking about him.. But I can't.. If only the memories I had with him is not so blardy hell sweet.. I might just forget him within a week.. *siGhx* Just now heard the song, "Flying High".. Reminds me when we first kissed.. *sObx* I love him.. I realli do.. But.. God is making sport on mi.. *sObx* The one that I love I always canot get.. The one I dun love I always get.. Can stop playing a fool on me..? Talk to Vanessa when he tell me that.. And she saes that I was experiencing the same thing she had with Aaron.. True though..:) Feel really bad for telling her off last time when she patch with Aaron.. Guys would never understand how much girls have to go through in a breakup.. Coz, guys would never put in as much as girls.. He have never fulfil his promise.. Never once did.. *siGhx* Promise to fetch mi from sch, dun go chiong for 2 months, sae different language of "I LOVE YOU" before going to bed, fold a heart everyday as long as we are still together, unless wid my 'chop' he canot go chiong and never break wid mi.. All these.. Is he promise mi de.. But he never did it.. He can't remember of coz.. Coz to him, these are just small things.. But to me, it meant alot.. Small little things shows how much he love mi and everything.. Small little things are things which mean so much.. Mel sae he very sad ytd.. I ask lion y he sad lately.. He sae he got probs in his work and mani other things.. Ask him izzit bcoz a ger rejected him..? He sae nopez.. Realli nopez ma..? Dun think so.. If its realli nopez, you wont be that sad.. I mean, what could affect him so much? Work is for sure.. As for his family.. Dun think ani probs bah.. So, left with r/s.. I very worried for him.. He will breakdown 1 day de.. See him so xin ku.. I oso very xin ku.. If only I am more considerate last time.. I can be by his side now.. Well, time can never turn back.. *siGhx*

- love you.. i always will.. *sObx* -