Jacq's

10th Oct 2003

aRgHxx!! Todae late for sch.. Luckily liting cor mi.. Arbo I dun think I'm going for school.. lOlx.. Hmm.. Yesterday, dreamt of him.. *siGhx* I dreamt that he was in love with a ger named Cynthia.. And he leave me bcoz of her.. *sObx* It was so damn real.. *siGhx* If realli that's the case.. Den forget it.. Juz log into my msn.. Saw his username as "Sad Forever n Ever".. Mayb the dream is for real? He is realli in lub wid a ger.. Hmm.. Forget it.. Why should I care? I also dream of mani things.. Juz that.. *siGhx* I dunno.. My science, F &N and maths.. Flunk.. Humanities C6.. Chinese take O'Level 1.. B3.. English A2.. POA C6.. Count my L1R4 ler.. is 28.. What the fiaks sia.. Die ler.. Realli very scare will gt tis kind of result in O's..:( Hmm.. But very happi for mi english wor.. Never expected that I could get A2 for english when the paper is fucking damn hard.. But gotta thank teacher for her leniency.. Coz she realli mark till very lenient.. My summary write till 200words.. Den she also got count the points after 160words de.. Den some of my frens jealous of mi, sae I shouldn't deserve this kind of results.. They din tell me straight of coz.. Behind my back lo.. Well, hu cares..? Alot of ppl gt A2 actualli.. Cy, caro, chinling and minghui gt A2.. My clz nia gt so mani liaox.. Somemore hor.. Cy and minghui frm Band E oso can gt A2 ler.. Caro from Band F lehx!! So, I dun think I'm good enuff.. Aniwae, they all oso lower den mi.. Haha.. I get 74!! 1 mark to get A1!!! argHx!!! So fucking damn angry!! :( When I heard I gt 74 tht time.. Nearly cried sia.. *sObx* 1 mark nia lehx!!! zzZzz!!! Hmm.. But den at the same time, oso very happi.. Coz my other paper did till so jialat.. At least gt 1 paper gt gd results ma.. I promise to do my papers well.. I promise to get gd grades for my O's.. Coz hor.. When I gt my english paper tht time.. I was realli happi.. I feel so satisfied with myself.. I realised that if you score well for ur exams.. You will feel very very happi de lo.. So, I want to have that kind of satisfaction again! :) Lately, I try and avoid coming online.. Coz if I come online, I will be very tempted to msg him.. Somemore, come online I wun study ler.. So muz refrain myself.. I wonders whether he will be able to celebrate my bdae with mi..:( Well, like what Star sae to me, I might as well take the time to forget him rather than to wait for him.. Guess she was right..:) Had a talk with Vanessa todae.. Realise that she patch with Aaron ler.. Good for her.. But he has not been calling her for almost 1wk.. She told mi that she cried when she tell YF about it.. I guess all gers are the same.. When bf dun calls.. They will b sad.. But when gf dun cor bf.. It's fine with the bf.. *siGhx* What is tis..? I mean.. Y muz gers b so emotional and not the guys? *sObx*

- life still has to go on.. -