Jacq's

26th Oct 2003

Juz got back from PS.. Went to a few places todae.. Kinda tired nw bahx.. >.<~ Hmm.. I went to Bugis to meet shoko and qx.. Den go Orchard meet chris, louis and des (jedi's fren).. We went to Cuppage to hab lunch.. Coz I very very the hungry mahx.. Den went to the place where mi n lionel hab our first meal~ Hehe.. Realli wor.. Mi first time eat wid him is at Cuppage.. I can even rem the place wher we sit..:( Wanted to go cuppage there play billard de.. But hor the fucking bitch wan to c our i/c.. Peiru, chris's gf and des nt enuff age mahx.. So bo bian.. Canot enter.. Den we take bus go Parklane.. When reach the bus stop liaox, we dunno wad bus to take sia.. So I called up bear.. Asked him whether he noe wad bus to take or nt.. He sae dunno.. After tht, we take bus no.65 go Parklane.. Halfway there, lion cor mi.. I shock sia.. He ask mi wher am I.. Felt realli strange y he will ask mi these questions.. Den he tell mi coz bear tell him I going parkway to find him.. OMG~ Siaoz..~ See shoko they all play like we very bai chi.. So mi and qx go open another table..=X We play pool.. Nt billard.. Not so pro yet.. Hehe.. Den hor, we realli damn newbie sia.. But very fun lehx.. At least now I can get the ball to enter the hole ler.. Hehe.. Last time, mi cant even hit the white ball~ =X After tht, go to the food court eat.. Eat finish, we walk to PS.. *sObx* The way to PS is so damn familiar.. Last time always walk tht way to PS ma.. Coz they gng sparks.. Den I go home..:( Used to rem tht.. He hold mi hand.. Den we walk on tht pavement.. I miss him soo much wor.. >.<~ Tht time, mel and bear smoke ma.. Den they blow the smoke on his face.. lOlx~ He still tell them, he alreadi quit liaox.. No used sia him de.. *siGhx* Todae, I am walking alone.. Feel so damn empty..:( Tis yr's bdae, tot would b mi best bdae.. But guess I was wrong.. Me, yf, vanessa, drea and rainie go eat steamboat on tht day ma.. Den, wan to leave tht place de shi hou, mi papa cor mi.. Ask mi go help out.. I tell him, no.. I wan to enjoy miself on mi bdae.. He ask mi to go home early.. I tell him, no.. I wun.. Hang up liaox, he ask aunt cor mi.. I tok to aunt.. Tell her tht I will try and get home as early as possible.. Mi and mi dad realli quarrel till very jialat lo.. 1st time I lidat tok 2 dad.. >.<~ Coz all along, I very scared of him de.. But, i tot of going to ecp later wid him, i realli dun care lo.. Until xiaoting tell mi, "Ling, you muz wake up lehx.. You muz understand lehx.. He dun love you liaox.. Stop disgracing urself.. You are throwing our gers' face.. You love him oso muz love de you gu qi.. Bcoz of him quarrel wid parents is bu zhi de de.." Wo zhi dao.. I noe is bu zhi de.. But, gng to ecp wid him is the best part of tht whole day.. *siGhx* After listening to ting's advice.. I decided to put off the idea of gng to ecp wid him.. And, coincidently, he sms mi, tell mi he canot make it.. Coz he very tired.. Well, expected bahx.. Always is lidat de la.. Xi guan ler.. Den, i sms him, ask him y he like so sad wor.. He sae no hab.. Juz feeling tired.. Den he ask mi hu I am wor.. I tell him i am the one whom u owe mi 1min hug de.. lOlx~ Den he come and tell mi.. Na, let u hug.. I was like.. dOtx.. lOlx~ Coz, i realli nt prepared sia.. When I hug him tht time, he din hug mi back.. And, I can realli sense tht.. He dun lub mi ler.. *sObx* In order to hold back my tears, I bite him.. After tht, I jitao no mood.. Realli lost..:( Wei she me hui zhe yang nehx..? *siGhx* On the way home tht time, in the cabby, I think alot.. Think so much that I cried.. Cried alot of time on tht day sia.. Enter sparks tht time, I cry.. Coz I saw him.. 2nd time is at the cabby there.. After tht, reach mel's hse.. I cry again.. Coz mi hse door was locked frm the inside ma.. Den, i went to mel's hse to stay.. Mi lie on the bed tht time, I suddenly miss him alotx.. Zhen de heng xiang heng xiang ta.. Rem when tht time he slept beside mi.. I realli wish tht it wasnt mel slping by mi side.. It was lion instead.. Den I tell mel.. Wo hen xiang lion.. Den I cry ler.. He stun.. He sae, siao ar.. Lidat nia oso wan to cry.. Wo bu yao ku de.. Ke shi.. Wo ren bu zhu.. >.<~ Wake up tht time.. Specs break into pieces.. Tmd.. >.<~ Dunno go wher find money to repair.. Todae, I talk to qx.. She sae.. Lion bu xi huan ni ler la.. Bu yong deng ta.. Even she tells mi tht.. He wans mi to stand up.. He sae, when sad, go and slp.. But the prob is.. When I sad, I cant slp.. Coz, my mind is all abt him.. I dunno how long I nid to continue tis kind of fucking life.. Always dangling in the middle of nowhere.. I tot I hab alreadi gt over him ler.. I tot I am able to accept another guy ler.. But, things isnt wad it seems..:( He sae I still dunno wad is true love.. But, does it matter whether my love for him is true love? So wad if I dun understand wad is true love? He want to find true love ma? I dun tink so bahx.. Y when he and ecko together, he wasnt finding true love den? Y wid mi.. Den he want true love..? Izzit bcoz he's juz finding an xcuse? Wo bu zhi dao.. There's so much question marks in mi head.. He avoid the questions.. So wad can I do..? Me suddenly very interested in pool sia.. Realli wonders y I so late den born.. Tmd.. If I born earlier hor.. Den I can go chiong wid him, go play pool while he play billard.. Den we can share the same interests.. Den, we wun hab to break.. *sObx* Ytd, mi saw a nick, Touch512 go in #netradio.. Den mi ask those active in #nr.. To go in #Touch512 and change their nicks to Netradio and talk in there.. I told them liaox.. Dun promote netradio nor insult touch512.. They dun listen.. *siGhx* After tht, ZeKai come scold.. >.<~ Tell mel abt it.. Mel angry wid mi instead.. I dunno y the fuck he wan come angry wid mi bcoz of a stupid radio station.. Kaox.. Internet radio are more impt den frens sia.. To hell wid him la.. Im not gonna go and hong him or wadsoever.. If he wanna break off tis frenship bcoz of this thingy, den be it.. Coz, im not gonna gib a damn.. I DUN CARE! LAMER~! Kaox..!

- awaiting for ur return.. i dun 1 ani1 but u.. -