6:19pm
im moody again.. the "kay kiang" mi went to browse my past entries.. and it did brings back sad memories..=( had i been a little hard-hearted and break off with him there and then.. maybe we might not get married.. our lives will be so much different.. issit better this way? i love him.. still do.. whole-heartedly.. im juz scared.. very very scared tat e marriage might not haf happy ending.. yes, i dun trust him.. i cant.. i was being hurt badly by him.. how could i trust him so easily again..? he treats mi very very gd nwadays.. nothing's wrong.. its just ME.. it keeps coming back.. i cldnt shake it off.. i told him, if he ever did tat to me again, i will jump down frm e highest storey together wif our bb.. i did meant it when i said tat.. but will i do it? i dunno.. but tat will be e last straw.. but den again, which guy doesnt stray? especially married man.. after some yrs of marriage, they're bound to get sick of u.. den they starts to look for other flowers.. not tat they doesnt love u anymore.. but dey are interested in new things.. im scared.. i really dun wan this to happen again.. bcos it hurt so badly.. especially when ive sacrificed so many things for him.. damnnit! i shldnt haf read the past entries..
my tears wldnt stop..
it juz keeps flowing..
im tearing apart..=(
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