Jacq's

19th Sept 2003

Toking to him rite nw.. So what? *siGhx* Y muz he always lidat..? I really hate him.. At the same time, love him alotx.. Y lidat?! :( I very xin ku.. He noe or nt lehx..? He dunno.. He always feel that he's rite.. I very scare.. Scare tht 1 day we will break.. I know the time will come.. When will that day be den..? *sObx* He nv ever tot about me feelings de.. As long as he feel like it, he will go do it.. If I tell him how much i dun like him to do that certain thing, he will sae I din consider his feelings.. What is this?! Why muz I be the 1 to think abt his feelings and not the other way round..? I am feeling very terrible now.. He gave me the hope that tml can meet de.. Den juz nw ask him he tell mi he canot meet me.. Din tell me why though.. But also can guess bah.. Go sparks.. Wad else? All he noe is chiong chiong chiong! Wish he one day go chiong liaox den kenna beat to death! Tmd! Really hor.. Sometimes I realli hate him so much that wish he will die.. But sometimes.. I love him so much that I can die for him.. WTF?! Zzz..!!! Tml going to Ronald's hse.. After that go watch movie wid him I think.. Pray to god that nothing will happen~ Even if something happen, lion oso wun care de la.. He nv care abt me before aniwae.. Haix.. Wan him to restrict me oso cannot.. Does he even hab the slightest feelings for mi..? I really dunno and very troubled.. I sick or happi also lidat.. It wun give him the slightest effect.. *siGhx* What am I to him? I dunno.. I very fan.. Can god gimme an answer? I alreadi gib him all he wants.. What else can he ask for? Am I realli so lan? Izzit bcoz I very ugly that's y I am not the ger he loves? Not that I dun 1 2 gib myself confidence.. But his actions really make me wonder abt my ability.. To him, I am nothing juz a passer-by in his life I guess.. I dunno.. I very tired now.. Wan go koonz.. But haber study todae so canot koonz.. Gotta at least finish all the papers of 1 topic in POA TYS..

- lub sux and hurts.. tis is a fact which 1 could nt deny.. -