23rd Nov 2003
aRgHx~! having headache nw sia.. due to nt enuff slp i guess.. >.<~ i tink i gonna faint soon..:( lion ask mi for a patch up lately.. and, i realli dunno wad to ans him sia.. luckily mi exams over ler den he ask.. arbo i cfm die~ shld i or shld i nt patch? *siGhx* its juz so i dunno wad to sae.. my laogong har, realli very patient sia.. todae hor, we plan to meet up after he bk out ma.. den in the end, i slp till 5pm..!! lOlx~ so he go hm first.. kEkEx.. after tat, we sae 9pm meet at PS.. in the end, i ard 9.30 den reach.. lOlx~ he angry wid mi.. but din show it worx.. alwyn kor sent mi a letter wid a necklace attached to it.. it was a small pink moon-shaped pendant bought in australia during his ns training.. i c liaox, i was like.. OMG~ its so unique.. and i realli love it.. somemore har, ytd when i receive the necklace, i jitao happi sia.. coz the nxt day, i was planning to wear pink to meet my dear.. den wid the pink necklace, can go wid mi pink shirt lerx.. lOlx~ juz told kor tat he wanna patch wid mi.. and he tell mi tis at the very end, "pls mei. if i were you, i will forget abt him" shld i? he is nt the only 1 hu tells mi tat.. i told lion abt it.. tell him tat alot of ppl ask mi nt to patch wid him.. he tells mi to trust miself.. coz they dunno much abt us.. wad i tell them is nt realli accurate.. *siGhx* shld i or nt?! aRgHx~! i hv nv gone thru such a complicated stuff b4 lehx!! 1st time sia.. i want to choose lion coz, i noe i can find true happiness when im wid him.. as long as he is there, im happi.. i want to choose sam oso.. coz he treats mi very very gd and he very stable oso.. 1 thing, he is mi bf.. so.. if i choose lion.. im being the bad guy..:( both i wanna choose.. coz i dunno hu i love actualli~ *siGhx* sometimes, i was ready to tell lion i dun wanna patch.. sometimes, i was ready to tell sam i wanna break.. other times, i wanted to tell both of them.. leave mi alone.. wad shld i do? hu shld i trust? i was thinking.. if mi n lion is realli fated, we will get back together somehow.. so, i dun 1 choose him.. but on the other hand, i was thinking.. mi will nv have true feelings.. so true and solid feelings for sam which i had for lion.. so y am i wasting time being wid sam.. *siGhx* i dunno the ans.. i realli very very luan.. who shld i choose ar?! but aniwae, does it matter? i mean.. no matter hu i choose.. they wun b the guy im gonna marry aniwae.. >.<~ i mean, its nt as if they will b my future husband or wad.. hu noes? wo bu zhi dao na.. i dun care la~ kor saes i still loves him.. *siGhx* do i?! i realli dunno~~~~~~~~
- if onli god could send mi a msg~ -
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